Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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