Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Randomize
