bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
