plz talk dirty to me
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
