She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
