You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
