If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
