Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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