one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
