yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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