a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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