he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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