I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
