cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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