He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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