we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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