i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize