i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
