sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
