if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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