I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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