the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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