I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
