so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
