So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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