i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
My feet surprised me
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