There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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