carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
did you just send me my own nude
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
