Don't make out with my wife yet
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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