Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
i now understand why vodka
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
