Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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