I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
