Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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