You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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