Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I need help removing her.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
