her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
