i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
