Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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