Can i not drive my cunt home
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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