can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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