like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
