my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
