Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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