Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i drank out of a bidet.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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