Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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