Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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