did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
