Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
