My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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