and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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