Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
now i know why i became what i already was.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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