I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
