you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
