woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
