Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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