Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
