Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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