im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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