some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
